Remember when we used to be paranoid that Big Brother was watching. Remember the shock you felt when a Google search of your name actually turned up anything even remotely relating to you. I know I used to freak out about how the “government” was watching us; I even tried wearing an aluminum foil hat while I was online. Oh how times have changed! Now I can’t upload enough personal information. I can’t remember when was the last time I paid a bill that wasn’t online. I have accounts on Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Tumblr, Quora, blah, blah, blah and now even Google+ (shameless plug time, look me up on any of these @ kelpic1).
Now my latest quest in digital assimilation is totally dominating a Google search of my name: Kelvin Pichardo. I’m facing an uphill battle; as of now a search of Kelvin Pichardo returns mostly results about a baseball minor leaguer. He’s profiled in ESPN, MLB.com and other sport publications. However, my goal is to outrank this relief pitcher with a penchant for steroid use. I want to place as the number one result in a Google search for Kelvin Pichardo.
Who turns up in a Google search of your name? Oh by the way, Kelvin Pichardo, Kelvin Pichardo, Kelvin Pichardo, Kelvin Pichardo, Kelvin Pichardo. Hey every little bit helps!
As the heel of my Doc Martens dug into my shin I lurched forward, hit my head against the wall and dropped my iPhone. My immediate reactions went in this order: shit my phone, damn my head and ouch my shin. I’d been trying to untie my shoelaces while reading an article on the NYT app and managed to knot the laces. Instead of putting my phone down and using both hands to untie the laces I tried kicking off my boots, while still reading, resulting in the ensuing accident. This seemingly random and insignificant event offered me a moment of clarity, an awakening if you will.
My iPhone has become increasingly attached to my left hand, as I’ve become a more fervent believer in the gospel that smartphones make our lives easier, nay better! Now I do most things one handed (don’t go there pervs) and half-minded. My iPhone isn’t improving my life; it’s actually handicapping me. I wonder if there is an app for this? Is your smartphone (dumbphone for Blackberry users) still improving your life or is it starting to weigh you down?